Shifting in my chair, I listened to the conference speaker as she gave pointers on how to communicate more effectively in our writing. I’m not doing so bad, I thought to myself. I just might have this writing thing down.
Then came the next session.
The next session was a workshop taught by NYT Best selling author, Lysa Terkhurst. Lysa is a gifted communicator and has an incredible way of relating to her reader so well, that at times, it feels like she’s been studying them, knowing their every thought and move.
Needless to say, I did not leave Lysa’s session feeling as confident as the first. .Wide eyed and overwhelmed, I feverishly took notes, willing the wealth of knowledge soak in. But, it was all too much.
With a pit in my stomach and defeated heart, I began to give in to the lies of the enemy.
I can’t compare to her talent. She just published a book on handling life’s disappointments. Why on earth would I even attempt to write a book to help readers shift their perspective when an author like Lysa has already done it so well.
Discouraged, I walked out of the perfectly decorated auditorium with my tail between my legs. I crossed the hall making a bee line for the prayer room. As I entered the dimly lit room, anxiousness and self doubt filled my heart. Kneeling on one of the perfectly placed pillows in the middle of the room, I buried my face in my hands and burst into silent tears.
“Lord, I’m not good at this. Why would you call me to write when I have no idea what I’m doing? Surely, my call is supposed to match my gifting. Writing is not my gifting.”
It always seems as though He calls us to do things beyond our skillset and comfort zone. I suppose it makes sense, really. Jesus is more concerned with strengthening our faith than showcasing our talents. When He calls us to step out in faith, it’s not because he wants to prove to us how great we are and how much we can accomplish. Rather, He wants to teach us to let go of our own self reliance and be made strong through His strength, not of ourselves.
Wiping the tears from my face, I steadied myself to leave. In a canister, located on a table near the door, were “prayer rock” momentos for guests to take. I stopped on my way out and grabbed one of the delicate organza bags. Inside, was not only a rock, but also a small paper scroll. Each scroll, possessing its own unique word, was designed to encourage those who left the prayer room.
As I exited the room, I opened the bag and removed the piece of paper. My eyes locked onto the word. A word that my heart needed to hear.
Commissioned was the word printed on the tiny piece of paper. I read it again, commissioned, and allowed the word to wash over my heart.
With a renewed clarity, I reminded myself Of course I am called to write this book. This call isn’t about my ability or lack thereof, it’s about being obedient to the Lord and allowing my life to be used as a vessel for His purposes. I have been commissioned to do this hard thing and in my weakness, He will be made strong. Despite my inabilities, He will accomplish His work, He will be the one to equip me and in turn, be glorified.
Today, I want to ask you a question. What is the thing that Jesus has called you to do that makes you shutter? You know, that thing that the Lord whispered to your heart that seem beyond your ability. The one that made you say “Lord, You’ve got the wrong girl?” You can’t possibly want me to do that.
Jesus often uses the least likely to accomplish his work. You may think that you are not “that person.. that leader...that mentor...that author...that professional... that mommy... that entrepreneur... that risk taker…” but this verse says something otherwise.
….the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.
Jesus calls things that are not, as though they were. For me, that meant he was calling me an author despite the fact that I felt the furthest thing from it.
What is He calling you today? What God says of us is more important that what we say of ourselves. God calls that that’s not, as though it were. And if He calls you, you better believe that he is going to equip you to accomplish His purposes though you.
So, sweet friend, go do that big thing. Don’t hold back. Take that step of faith. Because the truth is, that hard thing isn’t about you anyway. It’s all about Jesus who wants to manifest himself through you in the hard. You can do this because He is with you! You. Are. Commissioned.